How to manage borderline personality disorder (BPD)

According to SANE, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that can impact how a person experiences and manages their emotions, thoughts, and actions.

People living with BPD may face intense emotional responses, impulsive behaviours, and challenges in building or maintaining relationships.

Some may experience thoughts of self-harm or suicide. However, with the right support, people with BPD can live fulfilling and healthy lives.

This guide explores ways to manage BPD both at home and in the workplace, while also offering guidance on where to seek further support when needed.

How to manage BPD

With the help of a healthcare professional and various coping strategies, living a fulfilling life with BPD is very possible. Some of the common ways to manage BPD include:

1. Seek professional support

Beyond Blue recommends that working with a mental health professional is one of the most effective ways to manage conditions like BPD.

The Australian Psychological Society explains that various therapeutic approaches and treatments can help you develop strategies to navigate daily life, such as:

• Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT): Focuses on helping individuals regulate emotions and improve relationships
• Schema-focused therapy: Works to change harmful thinking patterns and encourage healthy emotional responses
• Mentalisation-based therapy: Aids in understanding how thoughts influence actions and behaviours
• Psychodynamic therapy: Delves into the underlying causes of your thoughts and behaviours

A mental health professional can also help you create a safety plan if you’re feeling at risk of self-harm or suicidal thoughts.

Staying connected with your healthcare team and attending regular appointments is important, even when you feel well.

If you think you might be living with BPD, visiting a healthcare professional is the best way to understand your condition, and create a personalised treatment plan.

2. Understand your triggers

Borderline in the Act explains that everyone's experience with BPD is different.

Identifying the emotions, thoughts, and situations that trigger your symptoms can help you feel more in control. Keeping a diary to track your mood, feelings, and behaviours may reveal patterns that make it easier to understand what triggers your symptoms.

Collaborating with a health professional, you can use this information to avoid or manage triggers, enhance your well-being, and create coping mechanisms that suit your individual needs.

When researching BPD, it's essential to rely on credible sources. Your therapist or doctor can recommend reliable websites, books, and resources to help you manage your condition.

3. Develop a crisis safety plan

According to Borderline in the Act, having a safety plan in place for times when it’s challenging to cope is essential.

Your doctor can help you create a plan that outlines your risk factors, triggers, coping techniques, and steps to take in an emergency.

A crisis safety plan typically includes:

• Techniques to use when your symptoms escalate
• Steps to take if you have thoughts of suicide or self-harm
• Signs to watch for that indicate you should seek help
• Contact information for support, including your doctor, emergency services, or helplines like Lifeline (13 11 14)

Make sure trusted family members, friends, or colleagues have a copy of your plan so they can support you during difficult times.

4. Establish healthy routines

According to SANE, people living with BPD often benefit from structure in their daily lives.

A routine can provide stability, reduce feelings of chaos, and help you feel more in control. If you experience feelings of emptiness, routines can also offer a sense of purpose and direction.

Building a routine that includes healthy habits—such as regular exercise, balanced meals, and time for relaxation—can improve your mental and physical health. Here are some ideas to create structure in your day:

• Stick to a regular sleep schedule
• Go to work or engage in meaningful activities like volunteering or hobbies
• Avoid working outside of regular work hours to maintain boundaries
• Aim to eat three meals a day at roughly the same time each day
• Schedule regular meals and ensure time for rest and self-care
• Keep up with health appointments, even when feeling stable

5. Prioritise your physical health

Looking after your physical well-being can significantly improve your mental health, as SANE explains.

Simple changes like eating nutritious meals, getting regular exercise, and establishing good sleep habits can make a big difference.

To look after your physical and mental health, try:

• Getting quality sleep: Set a regular bedtime, limit caffeine intake, and develop a calming bedtime routine
• Eating nutritious foods: Focus on whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. Speak to your doctor or nutritionist about foods that can support mental wellness
• Exercising daily: Even light exercise can boost your mood and improve your overall wellbeing

6. Avoid alcohol and drugs

According to Borderline in the Act, using alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism can worsen your symptoms in the long run.

Many people with BPD are vulnerable to developing substance use issues, and long-term use of alcohol or recreational drugs can contribute to further mental health challenges.

If you feel that your substance use is becoming problematic, speak to a health professional.

Various support services, including counselling and rehabilitation programs, can help you manage or stop substance use. A professional can also help you develop healthier coping strategies.

7. Learn emotional regulation techniques

BPD is often characterised by intense emotions, but SANE explains that learning to manage these emotions can help you feel more in control.

Discussing emotional regulation techniques with your therapist can empower you to manage feelings of anger, stress, and low mood. Here are some examples:

Here are some examples:

Anger management

Step away from the situation until you feel calm, focus on deep breathing, or engage in physical activity.

Stress management

Use tools for scheduling and organisation, practise mindfulness, and take regular breaks.

Managing low mood

Spend time with a loved one or a pet, engage in light physical activity, or listen to uplifting music.

Coping with dissociation

Mind explains that you can try a body scan meditation like the one from Headspace, check in with your emotions, or use sensory grounding techniques like drinking cold water or eating something spicy.

8. Stay connected with loved ones

Relationships can sometimes feel overwhelming for people living with BPD, but according to SANE maintaining supportive connections with family and friends is important for your mental health.

Setting boundaries and communicating openly with those close to you can help reduce feelings of rejection or abandonment.

Here are a few tips:

• Don’t isolate yourself—schedule regular meetups with supportive people
• Set and maintain healthy boundaries
• Consider discussing your experiences with BPD with trusted loved ones and encourage them to learn more about the condition
• Avoid jumping to negative conclusions during conflicts. Give yourself time to cool off before revisiting discussions.

9. Join a peer support group

Although BPD affects many people, it can sometimes feel isolating. Joining a peer support group like the ones offered by SANE or Black Dog Institute is a great way to connect with others who share similar experiences and challenges.

Listening to others can also provide new perspectives on managing BPD.

Speak with your doctor about peer support groups, or search online for groups that suit your needs.

10. Request workplace accommodations

BPD may impact your work life, but with the right support, you can manage your symptoms in a professional setting.

Australian employers are required to provide reasonable accommodations, which could include flexible working hours, working from home, or extra time for mental health appointments.

If you’re finding it hard to cope at work, a Disability Employment Services provider can assist you in accessing workplace support and accommodations that meet your needs.

Where to get support for BPD

Seeking support for borderline personality disorder (BPD) can significantly improve your quality of life. Whether you need professional advice, peer support, or workplace accommodations, various services and resources are available to assist you on your journey to better mental health.

1. Your GP and mental health professionals

Your general practitioner (GP) is a good starting point when seeking help for BPD. Borderline in the Act explains that they can work with you to develop a comprehensive treatment plan tailored to your specific needs and goals.

GPs can also refer you to mental health professionals, such as psychologists and psychiatrists, who specialise in treating conditions like BPD.

Psychologists

Psychologists can provide therapeutic support, including cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), and other evidence-based therapies that help individuals with BPD manage their emotions and behaviours.

Psychiatrists

Psychiatrists can offer medical support, including the diagnosis of mental health conditions and prescribing medication if necessary. They may also collaborate with other mental health professionals to provide comprehensive care.

In addition to individual therapy, your mental health professionals can help you connect with group therapy options, which are often beneficial for those with BPD.

Regular check-ins with your healthcare team, even when you're feeling well, are essential to maintaining your progress and adjusting your treatment plan as needed.

2. Help for self-harm and suicide

If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, it’s crucial to seek immediate help. Reach out to emergency services or a helpline for support.

• Lifeline: Call 13 11 14 to speak with someone who can provide immediate support and help you through your crisis
• 000 (Emergency Services): If you are in immediate danger or need urgent medical attention, contact emergency services for immediate assistance

Don’t wait to reach out if you feel you’re at risk. Help is available, and reaching out can make a critical difference.

3. Peer support groups

Joining a peer support group like SANE can be an empowering way to connect with others who share similar experiences.

These groups provide a safe, non-judgmental space where you can share your thoughts and feelings, learn from others, and build a sense of community.

Support groups for BPD may be led by peers who have lived experience or by mental health professionals who facilitate discussions and offer guidance. Peer support can help you feel understood, reduce feelings of isolation, and offer new strategies for managing the challenges of BPD.

You can find peer support groups by:

• Asking your GP or therapist: They may have recommendations for local or online groups tailored to your needs.
• Searching online: Websites and mental health organisations often list support groups in your area.

4. BPD organisations

Several organisations provide valuable resources and support for people living with BPD.

These organisations are dedicated to raising awareness, offering educational materials, and connecting individuals with support services.

• Australian BPD Foundation: This foundation provides information, resources, and advocacy for people with BPD, their families, and professionals. Their website offers helpful tools, including guides for treatment, recovery stories, and educational events.
• BPD Community: BPD Community is another excellent resource that promotes understanding and acceptance of BPD. They offer workshops, peer support programs, and information to help individuals and families navigate life with BPD.

These organisations are committed to breaking the stigma surrounding BPD and empowering individuals to lead fulfilling lives.

5. Mental health helplines

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or simply need someone to talk to, mental health helplines provide free, confidential support from trained counsellors. These services are available 24/7, offering immediate assistance when you need it most.

• Beyond Blue: Known for supporting people with anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions, Beyond Blue offers a helpline (1300 22 4636), webchat, and email support. Their trained professionals can provide immediate support, information, and resources.
• SANE Australia: This helpline (1800 18 7263) provides specialised support for people living with complex mental health issues, including BPD. SANE’s services include phone support, online forums, and resources for those affected by BPD and their families.

Reaching out to these services can provide immediate relief and guide you toward further support.

Support to find a job or stay in work

Managing BPD while maintaining or seeking employment can be challenging, but support is available to help you succeed in the workplace. Disability Employment Services (DES) providers like APM offer tailored services to help people with disabilities, injuries, or health conditions access employment opportunities and workplace accommodations.

Whether you are looking for a job or need adjustments to thrive in your current role, DES providers can help by:

• Arranging workplace accommodations: These may include flexible hours, the option to work from home, or time off for therapy appointments.
• Job coaching and ongoing support: DES providers can help you build the confidence to succeed at work by offering job coaching and connecting you with mental health resources.
• Job search assistance: If you're looking for employment, a DES provider can support your job search, help with resume preparation, and guide you through interviews.

DES providers like APM are committed to ensuring you have the resources and support to thrive in your job, regardless of your health condition.

For personalised support, contact a DES provider to discuss how they can assist you in achieving your employment goals.

Resources and further reading

• Coping with BPD at work: strategies and helpful advice - APM
• Good jobs for people with BPD - APM
• Is mental illness a disability in Australia? - APM
• Coping with borderline personality disorder (BPD) - SA Health
• What can I do to help myself cope with BPD? - Mind
• What is borderline personality disorder? - Helping Minds

About this article

APM supports people with disability, injury, or a health condition through various programs and services across its businesses, including Disability Employment Services in Australia.

The information contained in this article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as health or medical advice. Always consult a physician or other qualified health provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or health objectives.

When discussing disability, APM’s copy style is to use person-first language and the social model of disability in the first instance. Some articles may use identity-first language or refer to the medical model of disability for clarity or to better suit a specific audience.

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